Chapter 17 "The Aftermath"

May was nervous sharing this type of chapter in her journey. She tended to minimize situations in her life but was nervous that the stranger encounter would appear over exaggerated to the ones she loved or that they would be genuinely upset about the circumstances. She had been enlightened by the Father and she hoped they may be awakened in some way too.

May was a person to them, she was tangible. Some knew her blonde hair, her blue eyes, and her smile. Some knew her pranks that, humorously, never seemed to go right. Others knew her through conversations or interactions they had along the way regardless of how shallow or deep. May had a voice. What about their voice? What about the women who were raped on their way to get water? What about the women whose homes were just burned down by the rebels? What about the orphans whose parents were murdered by the rebels? She thought, when was the last time she or any of those who knew her journey got angry for them…they have a voice too…

May’s voice quivered to a similar rhythm of her hands trembling against the Smith’s wooden table while she explained the events of Tuesday afternoon. A piece of her dignity had been ripped from her and she had lost her sense of security. The experience resembled a deep flesh wound, hurting more as the adrenaline dwindled and the shock wore off. The drive was a knife digging into her skin, but the pain felt deeper in the hours that followed when the bruising fear of traveling alone and the tenderness of shaken faith set in around the puncture.

The incident changed her. She did not want to admit, even to herself that it changed her, but she knew it did. The days following the incident, May found it hard to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. The men of the Sandbox were no longer individuals to her and each one of them resembled the disgusting man who jumped into her rickshaw, put his arm around her, and asked her obscene questions until she finally could escape. They were the despicable driver who knew the entire plan and would not listen to her demands to end the excursion.

May had considered situations like these before she left the states. She knew they were possible; however, considering the future and actually living a consideration were different from each other. Did she truly trust Him with her whole heart? Did she truly believe He could take “bad” moments and use them for his glory? May wondered how she could bring Him glory through this circumstance. It would be absurd to think the only events that could bring glory to the Father were the ones the world deemed “good”. As the days passed and a new week approached May spent much of her time asking Him to reveal the “good” from this encounter and for a deeper faith that she could bring Him glory through it.

During the hours of fear and sleepless nights May clenched His book of promises and searched it for answers. She played, and replayed, the situation over in her mind as she thought back to the moments in the rickshaw. She could see the battle being fought between good and evil, she could feel it. She saw the moments when the evil one was attacking and she saw her Father with a sword and a shield protecting her, and she felt Him holding her right hand. She had never considered the different roles He had in her life. This was the first time she realized and believed that He was her warrior. The Father was her warrior and she was thankful that He proved mighty in battle.

She began to sleep again, she slept covered in the promise that he was her warrior and that he would meet all of her needs. The following morning she awoke to the Father questioning her…Do you trust me, no May do you trust me? Do you believe I love you wider then you can reach wide, higher then you can see high, and deeper then you can feel deep? I love you more. Do you consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing me as your Father, not some things May, everything?

May read more from the book and she felt more in her heart…I did not tell you to rejoice on just the easy days May, I told you to rejoice always. Get up and rejoice in me, not because I saved you from the hands of this present evil but because I am your Father eternal and because I gave my Son for you – I gave him for you in the moments that do not hurt and for you in the moments that do. Get up and sing praises to me, rejoice in me. I told you to give thanks in ALL circumstances. You have not thanked me for this, thank me. I told you to consider it a pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds. Consider it a pure joy. Love me and know that I love you and find joy in this trial, May. I want to prove you genuine – your faith is of greater worth then gold and I want to prove you genuine, let me.

Her heart found peace in this conversation with the Father and she lifted Him high, thankful for His mercy and grace. She was nervous sharing this type of chapter in her journey with the ones she loved because she knew some of them would be genuinely upset about the circumstances. She knew she would share the story and she hoped they would see the deeper meaning behind it in their lives. May was a person to them, she was tangible. Some knew her blonde hair, her blue eyes, and her smile. Some knew her pranks that, humorously, never seemed to go right. Others knew her through conversations or interactions they had along the way regardless of how shallow or deep. May had a voice. What about their voice? What about the women who were raped on their way to get water? What about the women whose homes were just burned down by the rebels? What about the orphans whose parents were murdered by the rebels? She thought, when was the last time she or any of those who knew her journey got angry for them…they have a voice too. Her five minutes of fear was nothing compared to the life of fear these women live.

Whose interests are you looking out for? Look out for the interests of others. You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes – there is not enough time to dwell on this and to overanalyze this – I want your heart completely and soon enough you will dwell in my house- do not waste the time I have given you dwelling on the trials you have-for they to are a mist within the mist and are not worth more thought then the moments of sheer joy and happiness I give you-do not act like they are.

The following Tuesday most everything was back to normal for May in the Sandbox. The Father’s healing had restored May’s faith and she thanked Him.